Inhaling deeply, he was surprised by the freshness of the sea breeze that day, having returned there day after day – like a ritual. The efforts to climb the cliff exhausted him thoroughly but it was an uniquely liberating experience, almost intoxicating! He loved being there in the scorching heat rather than during the rise or descent of the Sun. The Sea would shine as if it had hidden an another Sun deep within. The sea breeze flowing over his tired sweaty body felt so soothing, reminding him of her caressing touch. Years had gone by, but the pain, albeit ever so faint, still persisted.
He could recall every shared moment in vivid details making it impossible to cross the gulf of grief. How beautiful and lively had the days been when she was around! Everyone around, including him, would leave this world someday, but still… Lost as such in the endless stream of memories, he noticed something shiny on the water surface. Initially, he thought it was just some mirage, maybe due to his state of mind. But upon careful observation, he saw that it was something real reflecting brightly. Whole lot of willpower was needed by him to move the limbs recovering yet from the exertion of climb few hours earlier. He trudged along, every step heavy with lethargy, descending slowly to reach the shore.
As he approached, he found the object to be a glass bottle mostly free of barnacles on its surface. It was not an ordinary one – but with a missive inside, he noticed at a close look. Etched letters said, ‘please break’. He considered the situation, it wasn’t a regular for anyone. Undecided, he set the bottle in the sand and sat down thinking. Minutes passed… After waiting a while, he picked a medium sized rock and hit the bottle with it. It didn’t give away instantly, but shattered after 2 or 3 strikes. The missive appeared to be quite worn. He gently opened it. The text was in English and reasonably legible…
Hi Daddy,
Hope you are happy, wherever you are. I want you to know that today, I was conferred my degree in psychology. After Mom passed away, you became my Ma as well. Although you were calm on the surface, I knew how much you missed Mom. Don’t feel guilty Daddy, you strived every bit and moment that I shouldn’t feel the void created after Mom left the world post a long illness. It’s because of you that I could get over such a devastating loss.
There were times yet when you were so melancholy – I could see and feel it but couldn’t help you. You know, so young was I. Then I would throw some tantrum, insist for an ice-cream or demand a ride on your bike. You would push the pain away to fulfil my wishes. That was the only ingenious solution which clicked in my tiny brain. Remember? when once I acted in a Fancy dress competition as a mother, tears rolled down your cheeks. When I asked about it, you said that it was some irritation which caused it. I knew though…
I sensed that the pain was unbearable for you at times and that someone else in your place might have surrendered way too early. You endured it for me, however. You became my strength, my confidante all through my years of growing. You were, and remain my inspiration Daddy, forever. The sorrow of losing Mom midway in your life kept gnawing away your health. At last you succumbed to it post I had turned 18. I can’t believe to this day that you aren’t with me. I feel you cheering me up whenever I am down. I think about what you would say when I get caught up with a dilemma. I’ll always remember your teaching, “The path to a fulfilling life passes through the actions we take while helping others to find the best in themselves.”
Miss you Daddy! Until next time! with love – Natalie
June-2003
He read the letter once again. This girl, Natalie, must be older by 20 years now, he murmured to himself. Hours had passed without his notice. The sadness sinked in first and then he felt something else. It had plucked some unknown string inside him. He held the letter tight and started walking towards the sea. The water had swollen with the onset of evening tide. On the horizon, the Sun appeared scarlet red while showering the sky in pink and dark orange. The water touched his ankles first, and then his waist. In a few seconds, he was standing chest deep in the water. The letter was thoroughly drenched as well as his clothes. The waves kissed his cheeks washing away his tears that were flowing uncontrollably. He gave a last glance at the letter and let it go in the sea. He turned around and started walking back to the shore. The sand under his feet was smooth and soft. It kind of alleviated an unknown burden he was carrying along.
Sitting on the beach, he meditated on the intense hues in the sky. A different sense of relaxation washed all over him. Watching the surf curiously, he smiled, first time after a very long period – after years maybe…
iluvorchid 