I went into the balcony to check my plants that had bathed in the first rains of the season. Sipping hot tea, I felt like asking, “how are you my dear friends?” I was carefully checking if any tender sapling was hurt by the tyrant rains. Just then came a tiny butterfly & settled on one of the roses in my garden. No sooner could I treat myself with the fantastic colour combination of grey & pink than did it move on to yellow lily. The moment I thought it settled on a flower, the butterfly flew to another one. While observing its playful roaming around, a thought flashed in my mind – how beautiful is the relationship between the flowers & the butterfly. Affection without any bonds! Surrender without expectations!
How nice would it be had the human relations be as such too? We torture ourselves in life with the folly of exactly opposite behaviour. Unknowingly, we raise a mountain of expectations, scaling the heights of which is so exhausting. We expect something or other from our parents, friends, life partners, children; even from housemaid too. If we decide to list it down on paper, a day or two also won’t be enough to complete the task.
Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the other people for a while. They must also be having expectations from us. Do we fulfil those to the full extent? Ironically, we think that their desires are misplaced or too much for us to be able to honour. We say, “It isn’t so easy. Does he or she even know what I’m going through? or, am I a wizard to get them whatever they want each time?” You know the answer. Certainly, no, we’re all humans. We suffer from same limitations. Then why don’t we realise that others also deserve a similar consideration. Why do we get so much upset that we choose to end the relationships?
Should we stop expecting at all? No, no. That’s not what I mean to say. As we give to our people, they too owe equally to us in return, although, in kind. Rather, that’s an integral part of any relationship. Give more and take less; it’s not -give but take nothing! The only care to be taken is to expect with due thought given to the capacity of the other person. For example, time is a scarcity today. It’s a resource that’s costlier than money itself. So, if we learn to be content with telephonic call / video call, it will be ecstatic when we get to meet in person. As they say, “Draw a smaller line besides an existing line, & you’ll find the later to be longer suddenly.” We’ve to find the source of our own satisfaction if we want to save ourselves from agony.
We are fortunate to have families and friends. Let’s congratulate for this very fact alone. Out there so many people are living in solitude. Let the relations blossom & spread their fragrance without exerting force. If we don’t want to spoil the fun, it’s better always to keep in mind that our dues will be settled in the court of God if not honoured by someone for whom we did sincere sacrifices. If we can follow this, human bonds too will become as adorable as that which exists between a butterfly and the flowers.
Author: Pallavi Dandgavhal
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